| High Risk Adventures |
[Jul. 18th, 2008|11:49 pm] |
I just spoke to a customer who had misspelled the new domain name he was trying to register, and ended up with witchrafting.net instead. I couldn't help but think that as far as extreme and life-risking sports, this probably is right at the top of the list.
Can you just see all those witches in their pointy black hats and yellow life vests, delicately and trepidatiously stepping into the raft, making sure they're wearing elbow length safety gloves, and hydrophobic balaclavas? With nervous glances at each other they push off, and gently paddle out. After 5 minutes one witch breaks down and begins screaming, throwing her oar, yelling "I'll never eat a fat little child again, I swear!!" Another witch leaves her oar to try and calm the first witch, but with two now not paddling, the raft begins drifting out of control.
The second witch slaps the first one, as the others start to scream, and both sit down to grab the oars again. Too late, however, they realize they're in for it now, and heading for some rapids. All the witches begin paddling backwards as hard as they can, but the reverse motion, coupled with the stronger current begins tossing up more water, and a third witch gets an eyeful of river, and begins to steam and yell. The raft devolves instantly into panic with all the witches struggling toward the center, as far from the water as they can get. There's not room for everyone though, and one witch tumbles backwards, with her hand trailing in the water. Even with the safety gloves, the near miss sets her off, and she begins slugging the other witches in her attempt to get the the safe center.
The raft, now moving willy-nilly under its own power, navigates down a steep incline with a sudden jerky landing. *BOUNCE* one of the witches who wasn't holding on becomes airborne, arms pinwheeling wildly. Time slows as all the other witches realize that while she's in the air, they are moving out from under her. Her liquification is absolutely imminent, and as one the rest of the witches all inhale in terror. One witch finally comes to her senses and yells, pointing at the still aloft witch, a suspension spell. In her panic it's not as strong as it could be, but hearing her say the words galvanizes the rest of them, and four others join her in using their magic to hold this one up, away from the water. Another witch levels her own head and uses magic to swiftly steer the rubber raft out of the raging current, right against the tide, and up onto shore. She drives it so far inland that there's no moisture risk anymore, though her driving didn't account for the suspended witch, who had a bad time of it, banging into tree branches on her trip behind the retreating raft, as the others weren't quite quick enough to dodge her.
They finally stop short as the witch driving runs it right into a thorny patch and the raft bursts. Everyone collapses, and the airborne witch falls on top of the heap with a thud. All the witches struggle and crawl, gasping for breath, laying splayed on the ground. One small witch mutters, "This is absoLUTEly the last time I go on a character building retreat!"
"I know, right?" commented another witch. "Next time I need to 'reconnect' with myself, I'll just bake a new house, jeeze."
All the witches lay there staring up through the branches. Two birds tweet in the distance.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now THAT is a website I'd love to see! |
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